I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Pants 0. Shit 1.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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