He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
