Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
