Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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