Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
