Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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