Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
this is an emotional support booty call
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
