I am puke
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
