hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
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if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
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I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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