I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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