Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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