We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
