I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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