you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
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