Having a random hookup so left but love u
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
