I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
