So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
