Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Randomize
