so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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