My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
