I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
