I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Sponge bath it is.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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