That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
