I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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