I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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