apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize