The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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