So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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