It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
