I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize