Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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