i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
