waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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