also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
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