NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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