I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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