marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
