So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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