Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
