I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
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& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
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I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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