im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
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