Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
People in love make me want to vomit
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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