She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Randomize
