it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
No subtext here. People are naked.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
