How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
