Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
