Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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