dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
