We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
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