I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
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I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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