paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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