If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Randomize
