all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
You pole danced in your parka.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
