I hope mine doesn't look like that
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
